The 12 Traditions Of Fabric(s) Anonymous

(Or, why, despite ourselves, we're not organized.)

by Don Garvey
Published with the permission of Don Garvey, October 2002.

  1. Our common welfare should come first - let others know where the bargains are. (After you've been there first, of course.)

  2. For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - the loving Gods of Costuming, who express themselves through our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. (Yeah. Right. By the way, that bridge in Brooklin I've been talking about...)

  3. The only requirement for F.A. membership is a desire to stop buying fabric. (Really? In your dreams!)

  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or F.A. as a whole. (My group's better than your group...)

  5. Each group has but one primary purpose...to carry the message to the fabricaholic, who still suffers. (Sale at the Thrift Shop...50% off!)

  6. An F.A. group out never endorses, finances, or lends the F.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, least problems of money, power, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. (Really? My own line of designer fabrics...?)

  7. Every F.A. group should be fully self supporting, declining outside contributions. (We support the thrift shop, the department store, the fabric store...)

  8. Fabrics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centres may employ special workers. (I've got someone going through withdrawal here. I need a swatch of fabric, STAT!)

  9. F.A., as such, ought never to be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. (The tour bus for the fabric district leaves at...)

  10. Fabrics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the F.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy. (Is wool better than polyester? Beats me.)

  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. (NO! Not that spotlight! It's mine!)

  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all of our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. (Huh! Who, us?)

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