100 Ways to Hide Your Stash
These lyrics are posted with the permission of the copyright holder, Cathy Miller. If you would like to order the CD "One Stitch At a Time," please contact Ms. Miller at:
http://www.singingquilter.com
Ms. Miller also pointed out that TV quilter and personality Eleanor Burns has done a music video of this song. The video or DVD can be ordered from Ms. Burns at:
http://www.quiltinaday.com/
Copyright 2000 by
Cathy Miller
He doesn't have to know everything
A few secrets keep a marriage fresh as spring
I'll have it in, and out of sight in a flash
There are 100 ways to hide your stash.
Fill up the cupboard, hide the evidence
Pile it in the pantry spare no expense
Keep it with the kids' clothes, lay it with the wine
Keep it all together where the sun don't shine!
Put it in a Safeway bag, bring it in with the groceries
Call it "Christmas presents - and don't you peek!"
You're "keeping it for a friend" who's gone to Calgary
She'll be back soon - no there's none for me!
Don't tell him what you owe the store
He might start looking in the dryer or the drawer
It's an affliction breeding secrecy
These guilty pleasures that won't let me be
Pack it in the wardrobe, under the chair
Stack it with the linen, with the silverware
Cram it in the cellar, under the stair
With the winter clothes, with the underwear.
A woman stored hers in the ceiling overhead
For years it stayed there, overtop the bed
Her husband never ever heard a sound
Until the day it brought the ceiling down
He's got golfing and his auto parts
You've got fabric
He's got cigarettes and butter tarts
You've got fabric!
Pad it in a pillow, buy a bass violin
Cram it in a corner, tuck it in a tin
Turn off your freezer, fill up your bin
Unplug the oven, you can fit it all in
Buy a few quarters, while you're at the store
Get a little extra - more more more
Slip it in the mattress, hide it under the floor
No more room in here: buy the house next door!
Page maintained by
Carole Parker
